Reckless
by Babypeach16
Summary: *Sequel to Careful* Finally, when everything seems to be going right for Bella and Edward, an intruder tears them apart. Will the combination of Alice's meddling and Bella's recklessness be enough reuinite them? Or will it result in Bella's death?
1. Perfect

**A/N: Hey all! This story is a sequel to "Careful". So...I finally got around to starting Reckless, as I promised I would. If you'll recall, Bella and Edward got together (finally) and Alice and Jasper finally had some uninterrupted alone time. All should be peachy..._right_?**

**Chapter one: Perfect**

It was the happiest summer that anyone anywhere had ever had.

Well, alright, it wasn't quite summer yet, but to me, it sure felt like it was. Edward and I went to our meadow every day we could, that is, every day I could persuade him. Of course he wanted to spend time with me, but he was also quite adamant that I maintain my education. While he wasn't burdened with studying for the SATs and preparing college essays, he was determined that I should get a head start on my college application process. Once, I might have agreed, but now I thought of my future in the long term...and my plans went a little farther than college. I wanted to stay with him. Forever. And there was only one way.

"So..." I murmured, in what I hoped was a semi-seductive voice. I was sure that if I had heard a recording of myself, it would have been cringe-worty, but I plunged on nonetheless. "I wanted to ask you something..." I trailed my fingers up the frozen veins along the inside of his forearm.

Edward was reclining in the grass, propped up on his elbows. His eyes were closed to take in the warmth of the sun and my touch, but they opened curiously now.

"Do you?" he said, a crooked smile beginning at the corner of his mouth. I flushed, knowing that my casual act hadn't fooled him in the slightest. He waited for me to elaborate, but I had no idea how to proceed. "I have something I wanted to ask you, as well."

"Go ahead," I huffed in relief. This would give me some perfect stalling time.

Edward shook his head slowly, his smile broadening. "I want to hear what is on your mind," he insisted. "I want to know what is making you," he brushed his palm lightly against my heated cheek "do _this_."

Traitorous blush.

I shook my head vehemently, hoping that whatever he asked, I could use it as a bargaining chip.

"A hint?" he pled quietly.

I let my breath out all at once, causing him to wince. Oops. "Well..." I began with an apologetic shrug "it's more of a favor, really."

Edward smiled again, a little smug now. He obviously thought that whatever my little whim was, it would be only too easy for him to grant. In a way, he was right, but I knew he wouldn't be smiling once I made my request.

"Mine is a favor too," he coaxed. "Perhaps we could trade."

"Perhaps," I said, trying to echo his formality. Edward waited for me, twisting a strand of my hair between his fingers like examining a skein of silk. "But you go first," I persisted.

He chuckled. "As you wish. Alright then," He sat up and moved so that he knelt before me. My heart raced as he took my hand in his. This was looking to be a rather _large_ bargaining chip. "Isabella Marie Swan..."

"Yes?" I prompted breathlessly.

"Will you go to prom with me?"

I felt my lips slip into a frown of their own accord. Was I disappointed, or relieved. "No," I told him. It was a reflex reaction. Just because I had survived my first dance - and maybe even enjoyed it a little - did not mean that I was keen to repeat the experience. Barely a month had passed!

He laughed at my quick denial, which he had likely expected, but I was startled to see that there was actual hurt in his eyes.

I backpedaled quickly. "I'll...consider it, if you consider what I have to ask," I hedged.

"If you come to prom with me," he said in his most persuasive tone "I will give you whatever you want."

Little did he know that he was the one who needed persuading.

"Promise?" I said cautiously.

"Promise," he said, his eyes open and free of suspicion.

"I'll come to prom," I said in a rush.

Edward stared. "What could be so bad," he wondered, kissing my hand "that you'd give in so easily."

I looked down. He was right - I was stubborn as a bag of rocks, and my subtlety wasn't my strong point.

"Bella," he said more urgently. "What is it you want, love?"

"I want to be like you," I mumbled.

"What?"

I knew he could hear me.

"I want you to make me ...like you," I said more loudly.

He froze, his lips suspended a centimeter from my wrist. I could feel the chill rolling off his skin. He covered the awkward moment by flipping my wrist over in one of his disconcertingly fast motions, kissing my fingertips instead.

"What do you mean?" he asked in a voice of forced calm.

"I want you to make me a vampire." I was defiant now, determined that he should give me a real answer.

"Why would you want that?" Edward asked, careful to keep his tone light. The more he hid behind his mask of indifference, the angrier it made me. Fury would be better than this...pretend disinterest.

"Because I want to be with you forever, and this is the only way," I informed him, my voice low and intense.

"It's not," he disagreed. "You can have a normal life, and I'll stay beside you for its duration."

"And after?" my voice cracked.

He gave a twisted little smile, his eyes reflecting none of their usual amusement. "Let's just say I won't be sticking around for too long."

"But that's just stupid, Edward!" I burst out. "Completely idiotic! Why would you throw away your...existence like that? Esme would be devastated, not to mention Alice...Carlisle..."

A spasm of pain flashed across his face. He had considered this; he hadn't expected me to find the cracks in his plan so quickly.

"I will not condemn you to this fate," he said firmly, turning it back on me. "You should have a normal life..."

"What if I don't want one?" I protested. "I want you."

His face softened. "I know," Edward said sadly. "But will you always? What can you know of forever, Bella?"

My face contorted with outrage. How _could_ he doubt - ?

Edward's head turned toward the edge of the woods suddenly, his eyes focused and alarmed.

"What is it?" I whispered, my pulse pounding in my veins unhelpfully, our argument forgotten.

"Alice is calling."

Saved by the bell, I thought bitterly.

Edward slung me unceremoniously over his back and raced for the car. The minute he set me down, I stomped around to the passenger side with poor grace. I was _not_ happy.

"What is so urgent?" I deigned to inquire, making my displeasure known.

"Seven messages..." he muttered, completely distracted. I tried to glance over at the screen, to peer at whatever texts had him so unnerved, but Edward shielded it from view.

"I'm taking you home," he said shortly.

I sat in grumpy silence, staring wistfully at the forest as we pulled away and sped off down the road. Another perfect day interrupted...

Why couldn't Edward just admit that it would all be easier my way? Why was he so stubborn?

I wanted to be perfect, like him, invincible.

I wanted everything to be perfect, forever.


	2. Panic

**A/N - Hey all! So, because this story picks up right where 'Careful' left off, you may recall that Edward and Bella ended up together a little more quickly than in canon, so events are thrown off a little...Enjoy :)**

**Chapter Two: Panic**

**APOV**

I was aware of Jasper sighing in my periphery as a vision cut between us in a way it hadn't done for several months. I felt his grip on my waist slip away, lost sight of his face, the sensation of his hard skin on mine, as I was overwhelmed by the horror in my mind.

"Alice! _Alice_," he shook me gently, then with increased urgency as I did not return to him.

Panting, my eyes snapped to his face. He was staring at me in shock, in a way that made me wonder what my face looked like.

"We have a problem," I whispered.

I was on my feet then, my phone in my hand and Edward's number dialed before I consciously made a decision to notify him. He had to be informed though - I grimaced at the prospect of how he would go berserk once he heard what was in my head, but there was no way around it.

Jasper paced anxiously by the bed, bewildered and catching all the fear emanating from me. He tried to soothe me, but it was no good - I waved him away, needing the panic to sharpen my focus.

**NEED 2 TALK**, I texted Edward, when he didn't pick up on the first ring. Where was he? The delay was probably lucky, for me - I could work on formulating my answers to his questions about what I'd seen in such a way that he probably _wouldn't_ destroy half the forest.

**WHERE R U?** I tried again, impatient now. Under normal circumstances, I would have loathed stooping to the level of text lingo, ignoring proper grammar, but when I was so panicked, there was no denying that it was efficient. I fired off that missive and dialed his number again.

Restlessly, I tapped my foot while I waited for the beep of the answering machine to come on, leaving an ever-growing dent in the hardwood floor. "Edward, when you get this, please come home - we need to talk. I've had another vision, nothing to freak out over," I lied hastily, hoping it would hold him together until he got home "but we have a problem," I repeated.

I snapped the phone shut and sighed, resting my head in my hands. Jasper came to hover beside me, hesitant and grave.

"Alice, what is it? What have you seen?"

I practiced on him, knowing it would help giving my stilted explanation to one person before I had to do it while keeping Edward from seeing everything in my head.

"I saw visitors," I told him lightly, trying to keep it casual. "Three of them - nomads. They shouldn't pose a threat to us, but I'm concerned about Edward's reaction. You know what an overprotective fool he is when it comes to Bella - imagine what he'll do if he knows that there are others in the area!"

Jasper nodded, but I saw the tension leave his shoulders. He accepted my explanation without question, relieved. Three nomads were nothing to him, after fighting nearly a century of vampire wars in the South.

And then Edward's car was zooming up the drive, faster than usual, alerting me to the fact that he'd dropped Bella off at home first. As much as she complained about his need for speed when the speedometer inched past 80 mph, she definitely would have freaked had she been in the car now. I couldn't decide whether I was grateful or worried about her absence. I was glad that Bella wouldn't have to be present for Edward's sure-to-be-epic flip out, and I didn't want to frighten her, especially if there was a slip in my concentration and I allowed Edward to access _all_ I'd seen. On the other hand...being without one of us for protection wasn't safe for her right now.

"What is it?" Edward demanded from the lawn, streaming through the doorway to stand in front of me. "Alice, tell me." Unconsciously, he gripped my arm in his left hand, and Jasper was on the defensive, moving between us in an instant. Edward put his hands up and took a step back, allowing Jasper to glide away six feet, watching as I rolled my eyes at their unnecessary display. Overprotective fools, both of them.

"Look," I instructed Edward, as if nothing had happened.

I was very careful, showing him exactly what I wanted him to see, and nothing more. I let him see the forest, the three nomads on the hunt - the dark-skinned leader was in front, the plainer man following with the redhaired woman at his side. They caught a whiff of something that I guessed to be Bella's scent, and they increased their speed, taking off for the town of Forks. They reached her house, slowing as they crossed our scents. They looked at each other in confusion, deliberating.

And then I cut the vision off.

"That's it?" Edward demanded in frustration, desperate to know what they would do once they'd found Bella's house.

"That's it," I lied.

"When?" he asked, his voice flat.

"Tonight."

"It's a little short notice," Edward frowned.

"Well excuuuse me for not being able to control my visions!" I scoffed.

"I'm sorry, Alice - thank you for acting so promptly. Now we have at least a little time to prepare for their arrival. If you could notify Carlisle and the others, I'll go fetch Bella now."

I nodded graciously in acknowledgment of the remorse in his tone. "Bring her back here, and then we could go to the clearing," I suggested. "They could trace her scent to town and the house, but she hasn't been there yet, and, it's unlikely that they would be curious enough to follow so many of us there."

Edward nodded gratefully and took off, nothing more than a streaky blur to human eyes.

"Jasper?" I said quietly "would you please get the others for me?"

Without question, my husband kissed my forehead and moved swiftly from the room, leaving me alone to deal with the horror of what I had really seen.

A broken mirror, books scattered across the floor, pages fluttering around a mangled, bloody mass.

Bella dead.


	3. Wrong

**A/N - Hope you like it! Bella's date night isn't quite what she planned...**

**Chapter Three: Wrong**

**BPOV**

I was fuming.

Furious.

When Edward came back, he was going to suffer my wrath.

Well, okay, the only person who could be potentially injured by my wrath was me. Demonstrated by the fact that my irritated pacing resulted in a forehead bruise, when I attempted to kick my bedpost and lost my balance instead. After that, I sat on my bed, rubbing my sore head and glaring out the window.

I couldn't understand why Edward was being so difficult about this. I laughed out loud at my own idiocy. Of course Edward was being difficult - he was Edward. Sigh. I still loved him. I just wished he would get over this stupid block about making me immortal. Was it really out of fear for me, or was it a subtle indicator that as much as he loved me now, he might not want me around forever?

My lips twisted with doubt as my window slid open, and Edward flew into my room. I was about to close the distance between us, melting after our short separation, when he threw me my jean jacket from my desk chair.

"Let's go," he said brusquely. And then I remembered to be irritated.

"No, thank you," I said stiffly. "I don't really feel like going anywhere."

His eyes flashed. "You don't really have a ch-"

I picked up my bedside copy of Romeo and Juliet, flipping it open and glaring pointedly at a random page until Edward sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger.

"Bella, will you please go out with me tonight?" he asked softly. I glanced up, distracted.

"What's wrong with staying in?"

"We always stay in," he teased, knowing he'd as good as won me over.

"But where would we go?" I asked, genuinely perplexed.

"You'll see," he smirked.

"Edward..." I was more suspicious now as I allowed him to slip my jacket over my shoulders. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," he insisted.

"Who will be there?"

"The whole family," Edward said, his tone strangely dark. Maybe I was being called in to resolve some Cullen family feud? Unlikely, but it was the only wild possibility that my feeble brain could construct.

"Fine, let's go then," I sighed. "But Alice will probably kill me for wearing denim with denim."

"I think she'll let you off the hook tonight," he muttered. I looked at him questioningly, but he merely stretched his lips into a smile. "Tell Charlie where you're going - I'll meet you downstairs."

I sighed as he kissed my cheek and leapt out the window. Grumbling a little about my dislike of surprises, I pulled my hair into a ponytail and headed downstairs.

"Charlie," I called out as I stomped down the stairs and shoved my feet into a pair of sneakers "Edward is kidnapping me, because apparently I spend too much time holed up in my room. I don't know when I'll be back, but his whole family is going to be there."

Charlie did not lift his eyes from the game on television, but he did mutter something that sounded vaguely like, "Good luck." Taking that as a sign of his blessing, I flung open the door and ran right into Edward.

"Nice," he said, his lips mashed together in a thin line as he ushered me into the Volvo.

I rolled my eyes. "You know I don't like surprises," I pointed out.

He flashed a quick grin at me. "I know."

It was silent after that, and Edward kept his eyes on the road. When I thought he wasn't looking, I stared at him, and though his expression was perfectly impassive, I thought his eyes seemed worried.

We stopped at the edge of the omnipresent forest, this time at a grouping trees I was unfamiliar with. Edward parked on the side of the road and stepped out before I could release the buckle on my seatbelt. He was crouched, ready for me to clamber on his back. I did so without question, locking my arms around his neck, and he took off at a run.

Dizzied by the speed, I did not lift my head from his shoulder blade to ask my question. Instead, I raised my hand and placed it gently against the side of his neck. "What are we doing?" I wanted to know.

"We're playing baseball - the rest of us, I should say. You're welcome to watch with Esme." He tried not to smile, but the right side of his mouth appeared lifted.

I gaped at him. "Baseball...?"

"We're lucky there's a storm tonight," he continued, as if he hadn't heard me. "We need it - you'll see why."

Edward deposited me on the ground in a large clearing; Emmett and Esme were there already.

"How's my favorite human?" Emmett boomed, laughing hugely.

Edward gave him a glare that I didn't understand, but I smiled up at him. "I'm good...aside from the fact that I hate sports."

"Hello, Bella." Esme hugged me warmly. "Come with me." She took my hand and led me into the center of the clearing, and the rest of the family assembled around us.

"What are we doing?" I whispered to Alice, as she positioned herself three feet to my left, and two to the right.

"Esme calls the game - she likes to keep us honest."

I glanced at Alice, and did a doubletake when she wasn't wearing the easy smile I was accustomed to. She seemed far away, almost nervous...

Esme startled me from my thoughts as she called out, "Play ball!"

I watched with wide eyes as they moved in blurs, running bases, tossing out pitches, sliding into home. The only way I had of identifying a hit was to hear the crack of the bat, because each swing was much to rapid for my eyes to follow. Alice stayed beside us, and just as she drew her arm back to pitch for Edward, she froze, the ball suspended just behind her head. She dropped the ball on the ground.

It happened quickly, then. Edward had his arms locked around me, and all the other Cullens surrounded us.

He stared at Alice intently, nodding his head once when her eyes snapped out of her trance.

"What's wrong?" I gasped.

Edward bent his head very close to mine. "Bella, there are some others coming. Others like us."

I stared at him in shock. There was only one word I could choke out. "Vegetarians?"

Edward shook his head once, his eyes tightening with anxiety. "You'll be fine, I promise. Take your hair down, and stand behind me. They'll come in a minute. You'll be fine," he repeated.

I was too stunned to feel reassured. How could this have happened? What were they doing here? How many vampires were there in the world? I racked my brains for any information Edward had ever imparted about traveling vampires. I came up with nothing.

"Maybe if we just went back home before they came..." I mumbled. It felt wrong to stand in an unprotected circle in the center of this field. Edward tensed around me, and I realized that this was the surprise. Why else would they have chosen tonight to play baseball? It rained all the time in Forks...

"Did you know?" I demanded, some of my anger returning.

"Yes," Edward whispered, his voice bleak. "Bella, I'm so sorry - Alice had a vision of them going to Charlie's, so I thought if I brought you here, they would leave him alone, and we could protect you better."

"Charlie," I gasped, numb with horror.

"He'll be fine," Edward assured me hastily. "Alice doesn't see them going near your house - they're just curious about y- about us," he amended, in an effort to keep me from being frightened. Of course they wanted me. Of course. Wasn't my blood the worst temptation for Edward? Why shouldn't that be the same for a pack of wild vampires?

"How many?" I ground out.

"Three."

Three. Not so bad. Not too terrible in comparison to my seven good vampires.

I wrapped my arms around Edward, not out of fear, but in reassurance that I forgave his lie by omission and that I trusted him and his family to keep me safe.

"They're coming now."


	4. Battle

**A/N - Hey y'all! It's not often that I get the chance to write some action, so this was a fun one. Hope you like it!**

**Chapter Four: Battle**

**BPOV**

They emerged from the woods in a V formation, the olive-skinned man leading a wild red-haired woman and the plainest vampire I had ever seen. I wasn't evaluating their looks to measure their attractiveness, though; I was mesmerized and terrified in equal measure by their crimson eyes. I chanced a half-fearful glance at Edward. Was this what he'd fear I would become, if he let me have my way?

I peered blankly at the intruders from under Edward's arm, preoccupied with my imaginings of how I would look when I was one of them.

Edward flung his arm out in one twitching motion as they advanced. They seemed wary of us, as well they should: I imagined the scene from their perspective, factoring in the sheer size of our coven, not to mention Emmett's mass and Jasper's leonine menace. Edward, though less immediately intimidation than either of his brothers, would fight twice as fiercely for me.

Edward's defensive movement caught the eye of the second male, the one by the woman's side. He cocked his head to one side, trying to see around Edward to me. His curiosity was sidetracked by the greetings between his leader and Carlisle.

"Welcome," Carlisle said cautiously, stepping forward. His voice was warm, but I could see Esme's hands curl with anxiety.

"Thank you," the olive skinned vampire inclined his head graciously. "We sensed that there were others in the neighborhood, and we thought we'd drop in and say hello. I am Laurent, and these are Victoria and James."

Carlisle nodded and introduced us. "My name is Carlisle, and this is my family - Esme, Alice, Jasper, Bella, Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett." I thought it was clever of him to name us all at once, placing me in the middle where I could remain relatively inconspicuous, and leaving Emmett for last to make an impression. James' eyes lingered on Emmett's brawn, but Laurent seemed more interested in Carlisle's acknowledgement of us as his family. If I weren't so terrified, I would feel touched that I had been included.

"I am intrigued by your use of the word family, rather than coven," Laurent said pleasantly. "We've run into our share of others in our travels, but never such a...tightly knit group."

A smile touched Carlisle's lips, and he inclined his head. "Yes, you might say that we are relatively unique; our lifestyle has allowed us to establish a permanent residence, and as we abstain from human blood, we find we are able to form bonds of companionship, rather than convenience."

Laurent raised his eyebrows in incredulity. He looked, I thought, rather impressed. I never failed to be impressed by the struggles and convictions of Edward's family, vampires so intent on being good.

"We would be most interested to learn more of your lifestyle," he said. "I confess I have never heard-"

But then the wind shifted, a great gust blowing from behind us, streaming my hair in front of me, and with it, my scent. I froze as all three vampires went rigid, their faces shocked as if I had smacked them. Their brilliant crimson eyes snapped to me.

"NO," Edward growled, reading their minds simultaneously. He launched himself at James, who I supposed was the immediate threat. My limbs locked together in fear, I could only stare with horror as Emmett and Rosalie each grabbed one of the wild female's arms, and Jasper crouched in front of Laurent, fearsome snarls ripping from his chest and holding him in place. Carlisle, Esme, and Alice regrouped around me in a second line of defense. I craned my neck wildly, trying to follow Edward and James' fight with my too-slow eyes.

The fierce ripping and snapping noises were unbearable. A new fear bloomed in me - I was not the one in danger; Edward was. I would die if anything happened to him. In my despair, a low moan escaped my lips, and Edward glanced up at the sound, giving James the opportunity to plant his foot into his chest and send him flying.

"No!" I screeched, as Edward hit a tree. My fault, all my fault. I ran sideways toward him, dodging my defenders, who had only anticipated the need to defend me from my attackers, not from myself. Emmett let go of Victoria's arm to tackle James as he ran for Edward; Rosalie grappled her to the ground, struggling twice as hard now. It was too much, someone would get hurt, all because of me.

"Bella!" Alice and Edward cried simultaneously, as I stumbled toward him, sobbing with relief as Edward sped out of the woods, perfectly intact. Alice reached for me, but before she could touch me, we all looked around at Rosalie, who howled in pain.

Victoria had bitten her. Rosalie's index finger was lying in the grass, glowing white as a moonstone in the darkness. Emmett shoved himself off James with enough force to push my attacker two feet into the earth, heaving himself at the vampire that had attacked his wife.

Edward slammed into James almost immediately after he had been released, their bodies crashing with a sound like falling boulders. Rosalie let go of Victoria as Emmett gripped her in a headlock. Edward's beautiful sister crouched low to the ground, scooping up her fallen finger. She licked it, and it reattached to her hand while I stared, disbelieving and grateful that she would not be permanently disfigured on my account.

I refocused on Edward - why wasn't anyone helping him? I glanced desperately at Carlisle and Esme, at Alice, and there as a loud tearing noise as someone's hand flew from the blur of the fight and smacked my wrist. I was on the ground in an instant with pain and shock - not Edward's, it couldn't be Edward's...the pain was making me dizzy, but I was vaguely aware that the stone-like appendage had hit me with such force that my wrist was most likely broken...I could smell the blood where my bone had sliced through my skin. They could smell it, too.

"Jasper," Alice shrieked, and my eyes flew open with dread. What had happened to him?

Carlisle was crouched by my head, ready to examine my wrist, when Jasper let go of Laurent and moved toward us, his eyes wild. Edward saw what was happening and there was another loud tearing noise as James' head separated from his body, bouncing once on the ground before it rolled to a stop.

Victoria screamed, but I had eyes only for Edward, who reached for his brother as he charged toward me. Jasper lunged for me, his eyes fixed on my bleeding arm. My mouth was hanging open in shock. Edward knocked him out of the way when he was two feet from me, and together, he and Carlisle wrestled Jasper to the ground. Emmett had one knee on Victoria's back, holding her to the ground while his arm curled around her neck. She was snapping and growling at everyone in the clearing, making an odd keening noise every few seconds that sounded strangely like a sob. Rosalie and Alice had taken hold of Laurent, and while I was worried for them, he seemed to be very careful to stay still and convince us of his non-violence.

I was staring at Jasper, who had snapped at Edward when he had interrupted his hunt. Carlisle was talking to him in a low, soothing voice, and Esme moved to stand by him so Edward could come to me.

"How is your arm?" he asked quietly, his voice tight with strain.

"Fine," I said blankly. I could barely feel it, thanks to all of the adrenaline pumping through my system. I knew it probably wasn't fine, but Edward nodded once, his face bleak, and moved to the headless body of James, and began to dismember it, pulling a lighter from his pocket and setting the pieces on fire.

Victoria's animalistic shrieks increased in volume, and I shuddered, holding my undamaged right hand over one ear. She writhed violently beneath Emmett's weight, but her scrabbling claws found no purchase in the ground to free her.

Carlisle sighed, moving to Laurent's side, so Alice could help Esme calm Jasper down. They took him to the far right side of the meadow, speaking to him in voices too soft for me to hear, blocking him from my view. Poor Jasper. He probably felt awful for snapping at his brother, but I couldn't blame him. Trust me to break my wrist in a vampire fight.

"You will not fight us?" Carlisle asked, his voice hard, but even.

Laurent licked his lips nervously. "I have no wish to die. I will not touch the human girl, as she is so obviously under your protection."

Carlisle's face relaxed, but his voice remained firm. "As long as you do not return here, you may go in peace."

Laurent gave a short nod in agreement, and Rosalie released him, a look of disgust fixed on her face. I gathered that she would have preferred the destruction of all three to Carlisle's mercy.

The pile of James' ashes smoldered in the center of the clearing, thick lavender smoke wafting in spirals toward the blackening sky. I shivered as Victoria's screams broke off into a low, keening wail. The sound bothered me - it made me pity her. The clearing was otherwise silent after Laurent's departure; the Cullens remained wary. Carlisle stepped forward again.

"We mean you no harm," he said softly, crouching down to Victoria's level. "We have no wish to fight you. If you will leave now, and not return, we have no quarrel with you."

Victoria did not answer, but went limp beneath Emmett, silent as a stone. Carlisle nodded to Emmett, and he got up, backing away from her slowly, his arms and back still tensed into a defensive crouch. If the situation hadn't been so serious, I would have laughed, picturing my favorite almost-brother as a sumo wrestler.

Victoria waited until she had six feet of space on all sides before she sprang to her feet and flew into the woods. And then there were none.

Edward was beside me again, helping me gingerly to my feet. Carlisle was on my other side, ready to examine my arm.

"I have some first aid supplies in the car," he told me. "Edward will carry you through the woods, but if you are not in extreme pain, it would be best to wait a few minutes, until our, ah, visitors are safely out of range."

I nodded. "Edward?" I whispered.

He looked at me with anguished eyes.

"How is Jasper?"

He shook his head slowly, his eyes sadder than I'd ever seen. "I'm so sorry Bella - I'm so sorry."

And I couldn't explain to myself why his apology made me more afraid than I'd been all night.


	5. Reaction

**AN: I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to update. I just felt like there wasn't any interest in this story (let's face it, not a single review). And that shouldn't have stopped me from continuing, but it did, until now. I like this story, and I want to see where it goes. So if you're reading this, I only hope that you do, too.**

**Chapter Five: Reaction**

I was more terrified in those ten minutes than I could remember being in my whole life.

Not when I found out what Edward and his family were.

Not when Edward first showed me how he liked to run.

Not even when the three nomads had made an attempt on my life.

Edward's silence as we flew through the forest together was staggering; his distance while holding me in his arms was extreme. I felt like I was drowning, like the blood was draining out of me, and though it literally was, I couldn't care less about my stupid arm. I didn't know what to say, what I could do to make it better. From the time that he had lifted me gingerly into his arms, cradling me securely against his chest so that my arm was barely jostled, his lovely golden eyes had shifted from liquid anguish to something hard and foreign. Not knowing what he was thinking, this terrible unmoving, unfathomable expression terrified me beyond words.

Unable to take it for another moment, I moved my eyes from his glorious, devastating face to the woods around, my eyes alighting on the blurs of the trees that I could barely make out with my stupid, dull human senses. I felt so numb, aside from the burning in my arm, some little voice at the back of my head was screaming a warning, convinced that there was more pain to come...

_Why, though?_ my mind mumbled to itself. It was all over...

We came to the second clearing where the black Mercedes was parked unobtrusively in the shelter of the trees. Edward opened the door to the backseat with one hand, laying me gently down with the other.

Now that the adrenaline in my system was receding, the pain of my arm came back in full force. I kept silent, afraid to show any sign of suffering that might deepen his dark reaction. We waited for Carlisle.

Just when I couldn't take the silence any more, Carlisle dashed through the trees, utterly calm and looking completely at odds with how we felt. He was in his element.

Kneeling beside me, he spoke in a low voice as he opened a case of medical supplies, procured from the Mercedes' trunk. "Bella, I'm going to give you something to dull the pain, and then I'm going to clean the wound and put your arm in a splint until we can determine how much damage has been done. Would you prefer to go to the hospital, or would you like me to take care of things here?"

"Here, please," I panted.

Edward's eyes flashed to my face in the realization that I was in more pain than I had let on.

"Are you quite sure you'll be comfortable enough?" Carlisle confirmed.

I nodded. The less anyone else knew about this whole affair, the better. If I could keep out of the hospital, there was a better chance that I could pass this whole thing off as a bad sprain. Charlie wasn't that observant, even for a police chief.

"Edward," Carlisle said softly, "Why don't you go find Jasper? He and Alice were back in the clearing I believe. Talk to him."

Edward was rigid, and I realized that he was refraining from breathing for two reasons: one was that he was obviously upset, but I had forgotten how agonizing it must be for him to be so near to me when I was bleeding like this. He had once told me that my blood was stronger to him than all other. We had never tested his restraint to this degree, and I was overwhelmed by the knowledge that he loved me enough to stay and endure this in silence when it must have been unbearable. Any doubts I had about his strange distance vanished.

"Yes," I gabbled in relief, agreeing with Carlisle. "Go find Jasper - tell him I'm not mad. Of _course_ I understand," I insisted, almost giddy now with the high of painkillers and the dissipation of my fear.

If Edward thought I was crazy, he didn't show it. He was looking only at Carlisle.

Carlisle nodded at him to go, and, expressionless, Edward turned and jogged into the forest. When he was out of sight, I sighed, wincing a bit as Carlisle cleaned my wound and began to set the bone straight.

"Remarkable," he murmured, sounding fascinated.

"What, how my bones are so good at breaking?" I quipped. Yep, definitely a little loopy from the meds.

"No," he smiled gently. "I was referring to the way you and Edward refuse to show pain in each other's presence. It takes the notion of protection to a new level."

"Oh," I blushed. "I don't think I did a very good job today, though," I lamented. "I've never seem him so..." I couldn't find a word to describe his intense detachment.

"Yes," Carlisle said quietly. "I wondered about that, myself. In my experience, more often than not Edward just needs time. He's had a shock - coming even remotely close to losing you is the thing he fears most, and he had a hand in it this time, and Jasper's behavior as well...he's blaming himself."

"What?" I shouted, startling a half dozen birds from their tree. "Why-he can't-stupid," I spluttered.

Carlisle's lips twitched into a half-smile. "Bella, Bella, I thought you knew him better than that?" he teased. "If there is ever any opportunity to blame himself, especially in relation to something that is hurting you, Edward will take it." He sighed, not looking remotely amused now.

He patched up my arm as best he could in a companionable silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts.

"There," he said finally, patting my heavily splinted arm. I jumped, even though he had spoken softly; the pain medication made my head feel hazy, and any sound that broke through the fog startled me. "You should be fine tonight, but I want you to come in tomorrow for a check up, alright?" he continued trying to play the stern doctor. "If you don't, I'll just get Edward to drag you here." Carlisle grinned as I rolled my eyes.

"Sure, sure," I groaned. "Any thoughts on what to tell Char-?"

But Edward returned then, slowing from his run as he stepped through the trees.

"I'm sure you two can think of something," Carlisle said hastily. He straightened and buckled up his case. "I'll see you at home, son." He clapped Edward on the shoulder before turning back to me. "Goodnight, Bella...don't hesitate to contact me if your arm gives you any trouble."

"I will...Goodnight," I croaked.

He smiled briefly, and strode away into the forest, leaving me with an Edward whose mood seemed unimproved by absence.

"Hi," I said weakly, desperate to break the silence that bloomed between us.

"Bella," he whispered. Edward strode forward and carefully held me in his arms. I sagged against his chest in relief, feeling sure that I had broken whatever dark spell had turned him to ice.

"I love you," I said, pressing my lips to his neck.

"You shouldn't," he murmured. "I love you far too much to truly be able to wish you didn't, though."

The pain medication was still making my head fuzzy, so I had a little trouble following his words. So, I resorted to something I could understand.

"Kiss me," I demanded.

Edward's eyes widened, and he looked like he was going to shake his head, but he surprised me by pressing his cold, smooth lips to mine gently at first, and then with such intensity that I was on fire despite the chill of the night and his body.

Second after second I felt sure he was on the brink of stopping, but the thrill when he proved me wrong only pushed me higher. Gasping for breath now, I had to be the first one to pull away, an unprecedented event.

"Wow..." I panted. "Maybe I should get attacked by vampires more often if this is how you're going to react."

Edward frowned at me, bundled me into the passenger seat of the Mercedes, and shut the door.


	6. Gone

**A/N - thanks for your patience! This one was a toughie. Here's a shout out to Jillian, if you're reading - thanks for my postcard, babe! **

**Chapter Six: Gone**

Edward was wallowing.

"Cut it out," I murmured, emerging from the bathroom and attempting to twist a towel around my wet hair. I was barely coordinated enough to achieve a perfect towel turban with two hands, let alone one-handed. Giving up, I sighed and chucked my wet towel on the floor.

"What?" he said in a flat voice, that I supposed would sound quizzically polite to an outsider.

I glared at him."You _know_ what I mean!" I half-yelled, aware that Charlie was still awake downstairs, probably on high alert for any signs of pain from me. When we'd arrived home an hour ago, we'd told him that I'd hit myself in the arm with one of the baseball bats. After turning blue with rage that Edward had endangered me - he had _no_ idea, I really wanted to kick him for encouraging Edward's self-flagellation - Charlie had had to concede that it was really no one's fault but my own, and his concern was diluted by amusement. He'd said that he was proud of me for the force I'd put behind my swing, but with an aim like that, it was no wonder I was last pick in gym class. At this point, I'd stomped upstairs and feigned a hasty goodnight to Edward. There is only so much a girl can handle in one night, and Dad's brand of humor was pushing it.

So at this point, I was really mad. Edward had been distant for hours, and it felt like I was being punished, even though I was the one with the broken arm, not to mention some degree of subconscious psychological scarring, having survived my first vampire attack. I was in pain, I was loopy with meds, I was scared by Edward's reaction, and most definitely irritated. Perfect vampire boyfriend or not, I refuse to put up with this nonsense!

"You," I informed him, jabbing my index finger into his rock hard chest, probably not the smartest thing to do "are moping. Quit it."

"Bella..." He sighed and took me in his arms, and again, I felt that same terrified relief that stemmed from having provoked a response from him, ableit one that was slightly off. He was holding me, as I desperately wanted him to, but there was something wrong.

I tilted my chin up to peer at him, staring into his topaz eyes. "What's wrong?" I whispered. "I'm safe...isn't that enough?"

Edward's expression hardened and his fingers tightened on me for a moment before he gently rolled me away from him. I was cold in all the places where his skin was no longer touching me, colder than I could ever feel even against his icy body.

"No," he said shortly. "I threatened your safety tonight. I put you in harm's way - the one thing I swore never to do. You are miraculously alive, but that does not change the fact that you could have died - you could have been murdered by those nomads, or by my own brother," he looked sickened "by any one of my family."

"You know that isn't true," I blurted in desperation. "Alice, Esme, Carlisle...they would never..."

"Not in their right minds," he said shortly. "When it comes down to it, Bella, we are not human, and however much we act like we can control our natures, it is always a gamble. I've been fooling myself selfishly for far too long."

"What are you talking about?" My words came out in a gasp, distorted by my panic.

Edward removed his hands from me completely, and turned his head away, curling his fist into my bedsheet.

"This is wrong, Bella."

I said nothing. My head was spinning too rapidly to understand.

Still not looking at me, he went on in a rough voice that seemed on the edge of breaking. "I can't do this to you anymore. I can't stand the thought of what nearly happened this evening - what could happen again if I don't leave you to live your life in peace, the way I should have from the start."

I choked. "You're..._leaving_ me?"

"We all are."

"No...no," I rasped. This had to be a nightmare. those pain meds must have done a number on my system, and right now i was in a deep, medically-induced slumber, and any minute now I was going to wake up, and the world would make sense, and Edward would be looking at me with love, not despair.

"Bella, it's for the best, it is," he told me, pleading with me to understand, to accept. I would never understand. I would never accept this.

"WRONG!" I shrieked.

Edward swiftly clamped a hand over my mouth and I struggled to free myself until he whispered in my ear, "You'll wake Charlie."

I went limp and glared at him in the realization that he'd likely planned it this way to avoid a scene: with how much force could I fight him if I was constantly in fear of notifying my father that my boyfriend pretty much slept over every night? Not that it mattered now...not that it would ever matter again...

"Please," I begged, tears streaming down my face. "Edward, you can't leave - I love you. You love me - enough that you would never hurt me! Isn't that enough?"

"Of course I love you," he said, his voice hoarse, his eyes hollow. "I care for you far more than you realize...which is what makes it possible for me to leave. I would die for you, Bella. I can find the strength to leave you, so you can lead a beautiful life."

"I don't want any life without you," I sobbed.

"Don't say that." The words whipped out at me, low and harsh. Edward caught hold of my wrists and forced me to look at him. "You musn't do anything to endanger yourself, Bella. Don't think like that. Promise me you'll be safe - if not for me, if not for yourself, do it for Charlie."

I shook my head wildly from side to side. "I'm not letting you leave. You can't - I get a say in this, too. And the others...are they leaving too?"

I regretted my question as soon as I asked. I waited with horror as he sat with downcast eyes in front of me.

"Yes."

I felt so dizzy that I fell back against my pillows, landing on top of my bad arm. I squeaked at the pain, and Edward's cool hands were quick to shift me. I didn't know whether to recoil at his touch or latch on forever.

"Are you alright?" he whispered in alarm.

I gazed up at him piteously. "How could you even ask that?" I rasped.

We sat in anguished silence for what felt like hours, and even as my heart was breaking, I clung to these continued moments I could share with him, not knowing how many remained.

"Edward, please..." I whispered finally, unable to take it anymore. "You can't do this. Without you, I'm nothing. You're my everything."

Edward smiled sadly. "That's not true. You are my everything, it is true - but you were here before me, and you'll go on long after me. I won't hurt you anymore, I'll no longer steal the light from your life. At first it won't be easy, but soon enough it will be like I was never here at all. You'll have your life back," he broke off, unable to contain the bitterness and anguish coursing across his face.

There was nothing I could say to change his mind. I had used everything I had.

"Alice...Carlisle...Esme...Emmett..." I murmured each name like a prayer for the dead.

"They're already gone. They wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced them that a clean break would be best."

Pain wracked me, pain that had nothing to do with my injury.

"Where?" I demanded. "Where are you going?"

Edward shook his head. "It doesn't matter." Just as I was about to protest, he stood.

"It's late," he sighed. "You'll need rest if you want that arm to heal."

"Don't - don't," I began to hyperventilate, shaking hysterically until he grabbed hold of both of my shoulders and kissed me.

"Goodbye, Bella," he whispered, his lips parting mine. He drew back and kissed my forehead, my eyelids scrunched tight in misery. "I love you - I will always love you."

"Edward..." but when I opened my eyes he was already gone.


	7. Dread

**A/N -I. AM. SO. SORRY.**

** Huge, huge apologies for the major delay in this story, but I promise I'm picking it back up now! It's never fun to write the tough stuff, but you know what they say - the show must go on! P.S. - Happy New Year, everyone!**

**APOV**

**Chapter Seven: Dread**

If it weren't for the fact that A. he was already dead and B. he looked worse than death right now, I could quite literally kill Edward for this.

"Why do we have to leave?" Rosalie snarled. "Nothing even happened to her! She's fine."

Edward rounded on her, apoplectic with rage. "She nearly died!" he roared. "Because of us. Because of _me_."

Rosalie tossed her hair back and crossed her arms, looking unimpressed. "So she broke her wrist," she said coolly. "Bella can't walk over a flat surface without nearly killing herself, so it would be a miracle for her to come out of the woods without a full body cast if you _didn't_ exist to help her every step of the way."

Edward did not deign to dignify this with a response. That is, unless you count a wordless roar. He also made a move toward Esme's coffee table, but when I had a sudden vision of it smashing through the glass south wall, I flitted in front of him. If she hadn't been so wracked with worry, Esme would have been grateful, I'm sure.

"Edward." All I did was say his name, but he glared at me just as fiercely as if I too had undermined Bella's safety. "You don't need to do this. Please." He held very still, his expression unchanged, so I reached one hand toward him. He twisted away at my touch, punching a fist through the wall.

"You don't know what this feels like, Alice," he choked. I reached for him again, and he turned to me with his eyes blazing like coals. "Imagine what it would be like if it were you," he hissed. "Imagine if Jasper had almost died today, and that _I_ was the one to lose control and attack him. Imagine that it was all your fault for ever leading to our association. Think of how much better off he would be without you."

"This is crazy talk, Edward, and you know it," I whispered, wincing a little at his words. Just the suggestion was painful, and even though he relished the part of the wounded, misunderstood, exotic animal, I could sympathize with Edward.

Edward had calmed into cold, hard resignation. The flatness of his eyes frightened me much more than his fury had.

"It doesn't matter now. My involvement with Bella is over. It will be as though I never existed."

Esme, alarmed by his emotionless tone, flitted forward and attempted to take his hands in hers. The rest of us froze in wary anticipation of what would happen next. Edward apparently hadn't the heart to shake her off, so he permitted her touch, but wore an expression of anguish all the while.

These theatrics were seriously starting to piss me off. This is not a life and death issue, people! Well...okay, maybe it _was_, but...crisis averted, we should be celebrating, not turning ourselves into miserable, idiotic, self-sacrificing masochists.

"Don't be ridiculous," I scoffed. "Bella will never forget about you. Don't let this over-inflate your punctured little head, but let's face it - _no one_ would forget about you! You can't erase what happened by disappearing Edward. Your options are these: stay or leave. But if you think leaving will fix a damn thing, you have another think coming."

Edward's face would have been comical if our present situation hadn't been so desperate. He was changing emotions like a traffic light on the blink.

"Edward, please, there must be someway that you can work this out..." Esme pleaded.

He hung his head. "I've tried...so hard, but it's not enough. I can't keep her safe any other way. Without me, her life will take its natural course - things will be just as if I didn't exist. And I _shouldn't_ exist," he added in a maddeningly hollow voice.

Esme's pretty face twisted with pain for her son. Carlisle's eyes were deeply saddened. Emmett looked like Bambi after his mom got shot. Rosalie's hands were balled into fists, ready to deck Edward if he opened his mouth again to spew more of this melodramatic bullshit.

I was pretty darn insulted at this point - he was using this whole thing as an opportunity to question his own existence? I mean, _come on_. So your girlfriend gets attacked by a couple of vampires; adequate response: _I'm going to rip those fuckers to shreds_. Not so adequate: _Wahhh I wish I was never born_. Puh-lease.

For once, I understood Rosalie's habitual annoyance with Edward. He had the whole self-sacrificing I'm-a-man-of-the-world thing, sure, but he really just needed to _grow up_. Boo, hoo, nobody understands me.

Edward's head snapped up and he gave me the most wounded look imaginable. Oops. Shit...why must all the people in this family have additional talents?

_I'm sorry_, I thought,_ it's not your fault, really - you're trapped in the body of an adolescent, so your emotional development was likely hindered as well..._

His eyes narrowed to slits. Did I say the wrong thing? Well, today was not a day for sugar-coating.

Edward turned back to the rest of the family. "I'm sorry," he rasped. "It was wrong of me to bring this upon us...unfair of me to ask you all to leave. I'll go alone, and you can go about your lives as normally as possible."

Esme threw a frantic glance at Carlisle, but he had already stepped forward and placed his hand on Edward's shoulder. Edward wore a pained expression, but he had too much respect for Carlisle to move away.

"Son, you are a part of this family. We support our family members," Carlisle said quietly. "We will follow your decision."

Edward nodded gratefully.

"Let us pack," Carlisle said to the rest of us.

Rosalie swept from the room in a high dudgeon, scraping her nails along the walls as she went, leaving deep gouges. She kicked the door off its hinges as she exited, pulverizing the weak wood into dust particles.

Esme closed her eyes, and her lips fluttered in a swift and silent prayer.

I stormed upstairs to Jasper, who had been brooding alone in our room the entire time, ashamed of what he felt was entirely his fault.

He wouldn't face me when I entered the room.

"Jazzy," I said softly. "Look at me."

"No," he whispered. "I'm so weak, Alice...how can you stand to be with someone with so little self control? I've been a vampire longer than most of you, and yet it was me who failed our family today."

"Cut it out," I growled, waving my hands in the air, now exasperated in the extreme. "Masochists _really_ piss. Me. Off."

I moved forward and grabbed his shoulders, spinning him around. "I. Love. You." I said, glaring right into his mournful eyes. "This is not your fault. This is not Edward's fault. It was just a matter of unfortunate circumstances that were highly unlikely, but accidents happen. Do not make the mistake of beating yourself up over this, because one relationship was already lost today."

Jasper's eyes widened. Of course I was bluffing - I would never dream of leaving him. But I got my point across effectively.

He took me in his arms, allowing me to be sad by pushing his own feelings away. For all my anger at the ridiculousness of the situation, Edward had remained immovable. We were leaving, and now I grieved for his loss, Bella's loss, and my loss of a best friend.

In this endless existence, we rarely cared about the transition from day to day. But for the first time in years, I was dreading the morning in the knowledge that Bella would be forced to concede that this wasn't all a nightmare. This was our reality now.


	8. Hell

**A/N - SO SO MANY APOLOGIES FOR THE HORRIBLE DELAY. Seriously. Anyone sticking with this story is a saint. I promise I'll pick it back up now!**

**BPOV**

**Chapter Eight: Hell**

The day after Edward's departure, all hell broke loose.

Or, more accurately, _I_ broke all hell loose.

At first, I was certain that it was all a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad dream. And then when my arm started aching I realized I was wrong, and the full force of Edward's betrayal hit me so hard that I convinced myself I was _still_ dreaming.

This lasted me a few panicky, paranoid, fairly delusionally happy hours until Charlie came stumping up the stairs to ask whether I was going to school. I poked my head out from under the covers with dread.

"How's your arm, Bells?" Charlie wanted to know. He edged into the room, looking both concerned and...frightened? I was confused by the latter emotion until I remembered why my arm ached so badly, and yesterday's events came rushing back. I was attacked by nomadic vampires. Jasper almost attacked me. Edward blamed himself for my minor injury and near death. Edward and his family were leaving. _No_...Edward was _gone_.

My stomach fell as I realized that the news of the Cullen's departure must have reached Charlie, so it must be real.

"It's fine," I whispered, my voice sounding creepy and hollow like a doll in a horror movie.

Charlie shuffled forward with one hand outstretched, to pat me in comfort, I guessed.

"I'm sorry," he said gruffly. "You know that the Cullens left town today. Their timing was pretty poor - did Edward say why...?"

I shook my head with my eyes closed, rolling away until my face was smothered in my pillow. I didn't think I'd really mind that much if it completely cut off my air supply right now.

"That's not right," he growled, his concern for me manifesting itself in his irate sheriff routine.

I didn't respond. My first instinct was to defend Edward from my overprotective dad; it was a habit. But I was too numb with shock to really respond to anything, and a little voice at the back of my head wondered why I'd want to defend the one person who had taken everything from me.

"Dad," I mumbled. "I feel so tired. Would it be okay if I stayed home...?"

"Sure, honey," he said, his voice softening, but his eyes tight with alarm. "You go right back to sleep." Charlie stood up and patted my quilt-covered feet awkwardly before shuffling out of my room. I listened to his boots clomping down the stairs, and half of his phone conversation with Dr. Gerandy to schedule a check-up on my arm.

I was staring at the blank blue wall which I had never gotten around to decorating, figuring that all the roots I'd put down in Forks had been in one family that I no longer had a hope of becoming a part of. I'd so naively believed that I already was a part of that family.

Something in me snapped.

How dare he! This wasn't the case of the simple high school break-up that the world would see it as. Edward did not just leave me. He stole my future family. He stole my best friend. He stole my chance to leave my mortality behind. When I had chosen to be with him, I had prepared myself to sacrifice everything - Charlie, Renee, my human friends, my life. I knew he saw those things as more important to my welfare than anything he could offer, but that was for _me_ to determine.

When I was ready to give up so much for him, how dare he take away the promise of everything else?

I picked up my bedside lamp, weighing the metal base in my hand, the creases of the lamp shade. Holding it too tightly, the four edges of the square stem bit into my palm. I stared at it for a second longer and then flung it against the wall.

The sounds it made upon impact were strangely satisfying: the thump of the metal where it dented my plaster wall, the shattering of the bulb, the ripping of the shade. For all the noise, I didn't even flinch.

"Bella?" I sat quite still as Charlie's uncertain call floated up the stairs. Apparently satisfied that the ruckus had come from elsewhere, he returned to his hushed conversation with Dr. Gerandy.

Curiously, I leaned over the other side of my bed and lifted my volume of Jane Austen's seven novels. It was my favorite. It reminded me of him. It had to go.

Separating the two covers for optimal damage, I heaved it at the window, not bothering to duck out of the way of showering glass.

"Bella! What in the-?"

I sprang from my bed, suddenly hell-bent on destroying as many of my few possessions as possibly before Charlie could get to me.

If I couldn't trust Edward, I couldn't trust anyone. Not even myself. Especially not myself - how could I trust when every choice I'd made had ultimately led to this destruction.

I watched the feathers from my dessicated pillows fall around me as I crouched on my hands and knees, an inch deep in glass. Blood was flowing from my hands, and for once, I breathed deep instead of shying away from the smell of the substance that was my life and the death of my future.

My head started spinning and my stomach wheeled with nausea, but a sick smile curved my lips skyward as I found a makeshift pillow in the debris. Charlie's shouting seemed miles away, even though I could feel him tugging on my arm, trying to support my weight as he attempted to lift me from the floor. The knowledge that he would likely fall down the stairs carrying my full weight at his age registered dimly with me, and I helped him sling my arm over his shoulder. Together, we stumbled down the stairs and out to the police cruiser.

I curled up in the back, my blood staining the seats that had probably never seen such excitement. As Charlie sped down the highway much faster than state law allowed, I burst out laughing. _Promise me you'll be safe, _a ghostly whisper demanded of me. Edward may have left me out of some deluded righteousness, thinking that he could protect me by ceasing to exist in my life. But that was such bullshit - Edward would never _not_ be part of my life, intrinsic to my whole existence. And nobody could threaten my safety like _me_.

Charlie stared at me with wide eyes as I cackled into the upholstery with my bitter triumph. Safety and promises...go to hell.


	9. Stalker

**A/N - A special thank you to JaymeLynn143 for reminding me to keep writing! Hope you are all enjoying the start of summer!**

**Chapter 9: Stalker**

**APOV**

"No, Emmett – STAY IN YOUR SEAT!"

The jeep swerved a bit as Emmett reached back in an attempt to grab Edward before Rosalie stopped him with her signature death glare.

Emmett pouted and returned to driving as Jasper sighed and began to lecture him.

"Em, man – you can't just put Edward on the roof. That would blow our cover with the humans big time."

"Yeah," I piped up. "For one thing, you'd be removing all his sun cover, and for another, people just don't ride around like human Christmas trees."

"I was thinking more along the lines of immortal kayak, actually."

Rosalie smacked the back of his head.

"Either way, you just focus on driving and stop making things worse."

"Yeah, Edward's got enough self-torment going on without you adding to it," Jasper muttered.

We all peered around at the back corner, where Edward was gazing listlessly out the window.

"I shall never love again," he vowed in a whisper.

"See, that's why I wanted to put him on the roof," Emmett moaned. "Maybe some sunlight would perk him up – if not, he would stop depressing us!"  
>Rosalie rolled her eyes and shifted around in her seat to address Edward.<p>

"Listen up, Princess Buttercup," she commanded, snapping her fingers in his face. "I appreciate the fact that you are seventeen, but let's try to act our _real_ age here. You are an old, old man, not a sulky teenager – you've lived over one hundred years and watched nearly everyone you've known or loved die. What's a little break up compared to that? You'll get over it."

"Rose, you know that's not true," I hissed. "Bella was – is – his mate."

"Yeah, but the sooner he gets over her, the better. Can't blame a girl for trying." She shrugged, turning back to the front.

Edward's deadened eyes swiveled to me when I spoke her name out loud. Oops. I had forgotten that there was an unspoken ban on that one.

"How is…she?" he rasped.

I stared back at him. "What, you want me to check up on her?" I asked, incredulous.

"I need to know…what is she doing?"

I narrowed my eyes. "A: you'll only torture yourself and B: you can't just sever all ties and then ask me to mentally stalk her life. That's like blocking someone from your Facebook while you continue to creep on theirs. Not fair to any of us, Edward."

"Please…" he groaned.

Rosalie threw up her hands in irritation, denting the roof a bit, which caused Emmett to cry out for the second love of his life.

"Bonnie, are you okay? She's sorry – she didn't mean it."

"It's an effing _car_, Emmett – not your girlfriend," Rosalie growled.

I kept a straight face, not allowing Edward to see that I was softening toward his request.

Closing my eyes so they couldn't tell I was in vision mode, I scanned Bella's future.

It was blurring by in quick snippets, which confused me – her future was usually so stable, because she was such a steady little thing. Either I had a bad connection because of the distance, or she was going completely nuts.

_Bella at school…Bella cooking dinner for Charlie…Bella downing a bottle of pills – _WHAT?_ – Bella doing her homework – _that's better_ – Bella taking a shower… Bella jumping in front of a car on the highway…Bella jumping off a cliff…Nothing._

NOTHING.

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD. Bella couldn't be dead. She just COULDN'T be. That must have been a mistake. I must be seeing the wrong thing.

GODDAMNIT, EDWARD! What did he think was going to happen?

Despairing, I tried to come up with an action plan. When I spotted a sign for a rest stop, I decided to try to call Bella's phone.

"Can you pull over, Em? I have to pee."

"You haven't had to pee in over a century!"

"Yeah, but I need to get out of this car for a bit."

"I'd like to stretch my legs as well," Jasper added.

"Fiiiiiiine. I'm getting hungry, anyway," Emmett huffed as he pulled into the rest stop.

I was the first one out, of course – luckily for me, Edward stayed in the car. I hoped his cloud of self-loathing was just thick enough to obscure his hearing; the last thing I needed was for him to eavesdrop on this conversation, so I ran as deep into the woods as I could without arousing suspicion or losing cell service.

_Oh God...Bella please don't be dead..._I bounced up and down on the balls of my toes as I dialed Bella's house. Edward had begged Bella to let him buy her a cellphone, but, as always, she resisted the gifts he tried to give her. She wouldn't carry it anyway - she probably would have misplaced it, or tripped and fallen under a bus while on it-

"Hello?" A gruff and wonderfully familiar voice answered the phone.

"Charlie!"

"Alice? Is that you, honey?"

"The one and only."

"Well this is a surprise. How the heck are you?"

I was relieved by his tone - if something bad had happened, Charlie wouldn't sound like his usual self. He'd be devastated if anything happened to Bella.

"I'm...alright. Missing home, as you would imagine. How is Bella?" I asked tentatively.

Charlie's pleasant surprise faded.

"I know she misses you. It must be hard for you to have your folks pick up and move like that. Bella...she's not adjusting very well. I suppose it's only been a few days, but things are tough around here."

"I'm so sorry to hear that." The sadness in my voice was sincere. It wasn't unexpected, but I still hated the idea of Bella wallowing over my stupid brother's mistake. "Is she home?"

"No, you missed her. I thought I would have a hard time getting her out of her room, but she went to go see some friends down at La Push. I think she's trying to stay away from anything that reminds her of...him," he said apologetically.

Things must really have been awful for Bella and Charlie both. I'd never heard him so talkative - he must be desperate for someone to help him through this.

"It's good for her to have some company," I murmured. "Please tell her I said hello. I...hope things get better."

"So do I, Alice," he sighed.

"Goodbye, Charlie."

"Take care, hon."

I shut the phone, and turned back toward the car.

"Edward!" I shrieked. He was standing right in front of me, staring blankly into my eyes.

"I'm...surprised you left the car. It's good to get some fresh air, huh?"

"You called Bella," he asked flatly.

I nodded.

He reached out slowly and crushed my phone into dust.

"Do not call her again."

Edward turned and crept back to the car.

I stood there for a moment, gaping after him, before I turned and kicked a tree in my rage.

What a stupid situation. Everybody was hurting, and I couldn't bring myself to see in the sense in it.

"Fine, Edward," I muttered. "I won't call her." But you can't eavesdrop on an email. Especially if you're not in my head.


	10. Plan

**A/N - looky-here, back to weekly updates! Some reviews sure would help me keep it up... ;)**

**Chapter Ten: Plan**

**BPOV**

"Bella?"

Jake bolted upright from where he was lounging on his front porch. He was gaping.

Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Pull it together," I told myself sternly, gritting my teeth as I steered my old clunker over the rough gravel of the Black's driveway. If I could survive being abandoned by the person I most cared about, then I could steel myself for a little awkwardness with a close friend. At least, we had been close...before I had let myself get so wrapped up in Edward that my replies slowed and Jacob eventually stopped trying to reach out to me.

I bit my lip with shame and apprehension as I pushed down on the brake and killed the engine.

"Hey, Jake!" I injected my voice with as much false enthusiasm as I could muster. Maybe if I put on a good show of being happy to see him, he would forget all about what a terrible friend I was. Jacob was easy to please and didn't ask much from people - he was a far better person than I would ever be.

This morning I had woken up, truly woken up from my grief-induced haze with a purpose. I was on a mission to get Edward back. Not just him, but Alice and the rest of my once-future family, too. Edward had been wrong in making my decision for me -he took away my choices when he was "doing what's best" for me. Well, I had legs - I could chase after him. Metaphorically, at least.

I wasn't going to give up or quit this time. If it took me the rest of my life, well right now that seemed a worthy goal to me.

After Charlie had begrudgingly departed for work, clearly reluctant to leave me alone with the rest of our unbroken possessions, I cleaned up my act. I spent a solid hour or two bagging and sweeping the rubble from my room, and then I got down to the real work. I made a list, a brainstorm of ways to accomplish my goal.

I was no tracker; the only way for me to follow the Cullens would be to enlist support from one of them. For now, that was a long shot. Although I knew Alice would help me in a heartbeat, I could only assume that all lines of communication were being monitored by Edward. Either I would have to wait for her contact, or risk getting her in trouble. In any event, I wasn't fast enough to act on any information before he could pick up and move again. With all these factors in mind, contacting Alice would remain Plan B.

Plan A, as Edward would see it, was fighting dirty.

Plan A was to call his bluff that he would stay away from me forever. I would and could endanger myself if it would bring him back. Edward made a big mistake in leaving while I knew he loved me. If he'd told me that he had grown bored with me, fallen out of love with me, then my doubt might have been great enough to keep me from trying to bring him back. Instead, I knew that he loved me enough to leave against his wishes, all to protect me. Well, if he wanted to protect me, the role of knight in shining armor was exactly what he would get.

I just had to be the dragon and the damsel in distress all at once. I was pretty sure I could handle it; I was an expert multitasker.

"What are you doing here?" Jake asked as I climbed up onto the porch. He still looked surprised to see me, but he was definitely pleased, if his bone-crushing hug was any indication.

"I'm here to see you," I half-lied. "Sorry I've been away so long. That wasn't very nice of me." I hung my head sheepishly for added effect.

"That's alright," Jake waved away my apology generously. "I know you've been busy with your boyfriend. I heard that they moved, so I wondered if you'd show up."

My breath caught in my throat. It was funny, how even though I was sure of his love and determined to get him back, his absence still cut me.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, placing his large hand over mine. "You know I don't like him, but I don't want you to be sad."

I gave Jake a brave smile. "It'll be okay. Right now, I just want to have fun with you. So...distract me!"

He stared at me, but then grinned. "Okay...do you want to watch a movie?"

I shook my head.

"Um...we could hang out on the beach?" he offered, trying again.

"No...something a little more...exciting," I suggested.

He was non-plussed. I sighed, not knowing how to push him in the direction of dangerous activities without triggering Suicide Watch.

Jake's face shifted suddenly, and I couldn't tell what he was thinking, for once. He squeezed my hand, which had somehow already become naturally entwined with his. He stepped closer, and leaned down to whisper, "You mean, like _this_ kind of distraction?"

"Jake," I complained, taking a big step back as he aimed for a kiss and missed.

I felt remorseful when I watched his face fall. I could see how he might have misunderstood my words, but...did he seriously think that I was on the rebound? If he did, he had another think coming.

"I'm sorry if I gave you that impression," I said calmly. "But I was thinking more along the lines of...cliff diving! I've seen you guys do it before, and the water is still pretty warm."

"Not so frigid as it's going to be, you mean," he laughed, recovering from his disappointment. "Sure, we could do that - I'm surprised you're up for it," he teased. "Most girls think it's too scary. Sure you're not chicken?"

"I'm sure." I wasn't, but I would have to get a grip if I was going to carry out this plan.

"You want to do it today? The weather's good - lots of sun, no wind."

"Okay, yeah...perfect!" I started to get excited when I remembered that I had an unused swimsuit underneath the passenger seat of my truck, left over from a forced shopping trip with Jessica and Angela. I had no idea that their definition of beach weather differed severely from mine.

I changed in the house and came out, just a little hesitant as Jake looked me over, looking as though he liked what he saw. Not even Edward had seen me in this. I knew that bathing suits didn't really count as being undressed, and it wasn't showing much skin, but if Jake was going to unwittingly help me accomplish my goal, we were going to have to stay friends, and friends only.

"Let's do this," I muttered, pulling my t-shirt and shorts back on over my suit.

"Bella, what brought this on?" Jake asked in wonder as he walked beside me. "I'm surprised...I thought you always played it pretty safe."

"I'm celebrating my freedom," I told him shortly.

It was my turn to make the decisions around here, and I was going to plunge right in. Literally.


End file.
